Why we are Never at Peace with Ourselves?
How often do we wish to be more peaceful and more in control of our lives? Do we ever stop to think why are we running around all the time and still don’t seem to get what we deserve? What stops us from realizing our true potential?
The truth is: we need a balanced mind when we have to make important decisions, or when we want to get over some painful things from the past, or when we want to resolve some unfinished issues. In fact, the only way to succeed in a sustainable manner is through a balanced mind. You can drive yourself crazy or work like a maniac and may succeed in achieving something, but rest assured it is not going to work for long. And when it doesn’t, you are sure to go nuts.
I discovered it from painful experience few years ago when I was only working long hours – and of course, getting tired continuously. I must admit I had been a workaholic most of my life and always relished the pleasure of doing everything to perfection. In fact, I was a proud perfectionist too. A deceptive mental disease! I guess.
Had I not landed up in severe chronic frustration and depression, I probably would have never realized the dangers of addictions to work and perfection. Thankfully, the endless mental and physical pains forced me to take a stock of my life and bring elements of sanity in it.
Bring Balance in Life
How long can anyone give 12 – 15 hours daily to work? Not forever. Because, if you do that you are sure missing many other things in life, such as good health, relaxed mind, and harmonious relations. It is like eating pancake all the time! So what I learned was: addiction (even to work) is bad and is a sign of personal weakness. Unfortunately workplaces encourage this tendency and make our lives unbalanced; the result is stress and constant fatigue.
Remedy? Make sure that you are not putting in more than 8 hours a day to work and take two days off a week. There is nothing wrong if you make less money. There is a crucial lesson here: Money earned at the cost of health ultimately ends up with the doctor!
These are my way of practical steps to keep life balanced and under control.
1. Resolve Unfinished Personal Issues
In my experience, the biggest source of anxieties and tension is the unfinished issues. These are conflicts in personal relations which spill over to professional life. When personal relations are not harmonious people tend to take satisfaction from work and achievements. If for some reason it does not happen life becomes further complicated and stressful. Balance between the life at the workplace and home is really an important issue; happiness and peace can only follow afterwards.
All unresolved issues feed mental chatter that fuels stress and anxiety, keeping you constantly on edge. Please read: Are You a Victim of the Obsessive Mental Chatter
2. Tame Your Silly Ego
“Ego has a voracious appetite, the more you feed it the hungrier it gets.” – Nathaniel Bronner, Jr
“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.” – Colin Powell
The ego is like a wild horse. If you tame it and learn to keep it under control it will do no harm. The moment you begin to pamper it, it will tame you and soon takes control of your life – and you might not realize it. Nothing is more poisonous to interpersonal relations than a brazenly displayed ego. Whenever you put other people down or step on their toes, it is proof enough you are no more a dignified person but are a mere slave to your ego. There is nothing to be cocky about that. Ego is not a sign of strength it is a sure sign of weakness – think about it.
Being modest and humble means being who you are, a quality all great people have. Wise people say: Height of the ego is directly related to the smallness of the person.
3. Live in the present
The only place for you to live is the present moment. Yet, most of the time you ruminate on the past or worry about the future; as a result, you are wasting the present time. Living in the present does not mean that you throw away your past and completely ignore your future. It means that you are facing the realities of your life right now and feeling grateful for what you have today.
Did you ever hear about a guy who was always busy working so that he can retire at 60 and live happily thereafter. He did achieve a lot spending sleepless lights and working like a maniac. He finally died of a heart attack at 40. In 40 years he never realized what inner peace was. Do you think he actually LIVED a life?
4. Live in a Clean Environment
Ever heard of mental pollution? Have you ever realized how much toxic waste your mind is accumulating daily?
You probably have never heard such questions because no one asks them. You must have only heard of global pollution and how that has changed the climate but never bothered to find out how good your inner climate is. A polluted mind can never realize or enjoy inner peace.
Remember: For every minute you are restless, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
Everything affects your mind – the company you keep, the people you talk to, how you earn money (do you cheat?) and what you watch on TV. The last one is perhaps the most dependable source of mental pollution – it generally spreads only negativity by focusing on violence, crimes and conflicts besides fueling your greed through endless commercial advertisements. Nobody knows why news has to be always negative but that is what the media does all the time. Someone kills once and the media reports it a thousand times, filling your mind with suspicion and fear. There are people who are media addict. You can be sure that they have turned their minds into junk yards; have no room for peace of mind.
Therefore, at least once a week stay away from media and use that time for filling the mind with thoughts of strength, love, peace and harmony. Practice generosity by helping weak, disabled, or poor. Helping others is the best way to grow inner strength provided you help with humility and not with egoistic thoughts.
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